Car Donation in Iowa

My story begins when my mom was 15-years-old. She was raped by my father and that is how I was conceived.

Soon after I was born my mom was diagnosed with postpartum depression.

When I was two weeks old I had trouble breathing and my mom found out I had a tumor in my throat. I had to have surgery to remove the tumor and then was sent home to recover. Not too long after I went home somehow when I was in my crib all my stiches in my neck ripped open. I am thankful my grandmother came to check in on my mother and I because when she did my mother was standing there watching me bleed out and not doing anything to stop it.

I believe my mother was so still so angry and resented me because I reminded her of her rape. My grandma ended up picking me up and holding my head to my body and getting me to the hospital in time.

This was my beginning.

When I was about 3-years-old my mom married my stepdad. They had my little sister and then my little brother.

From as early as I can remember my parents highly favored my siblings.

I remember one time we were back to school shopping at the flea market when I saw the coolest pair of high top Vans I had ever seen. They had checkers and so many bright colors. I had never seen shoes like that before. I picked them up and asked my stepdad if I could have them.

He looked me straight in my eyes and said no, yet he turned to my younger sister and said, “Would you like these shoes?”

It broke my heart so much because I could feel him using my excitement for the shoes against me. It was just another way to make me feel like I wasn’t as important as my brother and sister.

Drugs are another issue that plagues family for as long as I can remember. My mom’s pregnancy with my sister did not even stop her or my stepdad from consuming drugs day in and day out.

His drug of choice was heroin and my mother’s was meth.

The majority of my childhood was spent watching my parents do and sell drugs.

My stepdad became very violent and would beat on me and my mother on a regular basis.

I remember one time he threw my mother through our glass French doors. She landed on the back porch and in the process her two front teeth were knocked out. I saw all of this happen right in front of me. After her teeth were knocked out he would make fun of her all the time.

She became very depressed and tried killing herself in our bathroom. She locked the door and broke the mirror. She eventually let me in and I saw my mother bleeding from her wrists in our bathtub. Somehow my grandparents showed up and were able to get her help and she lived.

You might be thinking, ‘Where was Child Protective Services?”.

They were there actually. My family went through seven CPS cases while I was growing up.

It was basically hopeless though because my parents coached us on what to say to the CPS workers. They would threaten us with beatings if we didn’t say exactly what we were supposed to.

My parents also had us pee in their drug test cups so they wouldn’t be caught testing positive for drugs.

One time we were removed from our house and went to go live with my stepdad’s mother. She was mean herself and also resented me for not being her son’s child. Life with her was just about as difficult as life at home.

The violence between my mom and my stepdad came to a head one day when he showed up unexpectedly at our doorstep. He had been in jail and had gotten out and not told anyone.

He kidnapped my mother that day.

I called my grandparents and they came and got us kids and we went looking for them. Somehow, by the grace of God, we found them at an old motel on the Westside. My grandfather and uncle and the hotel manager broke down the door and we found my mother duct tapped to a chair. I remember the duct tape being so tight her skin was budging out. She was sweating and crying, but we couldn’t understand her because her mouth was duct tapped shut.

He was arrested and sent back to jail.

I wanted a better life, but things kept going downhill.

You see, all of this was happening while I was going to school or trying to go to school.

On the days I didn’t have to stay home and take care of my baby brother because my parents wouldn’t wake up, I would try attend school, but I always had to remember to cover up my bruises and be cautious to avoid questions from adults.

One day I ended up getting arrested and spend three weeks in juvenile detention. One day a school a girl who had been picking on me called me a bastard. See I didn’t know what that meant until a friend told me.

I became so angry. This girl knew my mother had been raped. I got into a physical fight with this girl and caused her to need a few stiches. I guess all my anger just came out that day because I had never been in a fight before.

I was later arrested and found guilty and sentenced to three weeks in a juvenile detention center. However, there was a good thing that came from this bad situation.

I told my entire story.

I told her everything, all the stories I just told you plus so many more I don’t have the time to tell today. This helped me get out of my parents’ house for good. This started the process of me being adopted by my grandparents.

In a way I am thankful for that experience because I was finally able to get help.

I went to two high schools before I found San Antonio CAN. I never felt like I fit it. When I was there I would miss my siblings and worry if they were okay. After the kidnapping incident my grandparents decided to legally adopt me.

I remember I was in class one time and shared with the class that I might be able to go to college since I was adopted I could get grants. The adult in the room asked me in front of the whole class, “Why are you being adopted? You/re parents don’t want you?”

It was like a punch in the gut.

Immediately after finding the Can Academies I didn’t feel lonely. For the first time, my teachers understood and helped me. They made me feel wanted. If it weren’t for them I don’t think I would be graduating. I finally found find the first place where I truly belonged.

My advisor Ms. Simmons and my English teacher Ms. Hatfield made me feel like they understood where I had been and that I was wanted.

If it weren’t for San Antonio CAN I don’t think I would be graduating from high school.

Now my life is different.

Although my mom will always be my mom and I can’t change the past, I can choose what I do moving forward.

My goals are to join the Army after high school and eventually earn a degree in education and come back to teach at the CAN. I want to help students like me find their purpose.

And as for me, I was adopted by my grandparents. My grandparents love me very much. I have a boyfriend who helped me get in my journey to get off meth and I found a great church that I consider a second home.

I am thankful for the Can, my grandparents, my boyfriend and my church. I am also thankful for those of you reading this today.

I found find the first place I felt I truly belonged, San Antonio Can.

I know now that I life of love, faith and hope to look forward to. Thank you for believing in me.

Her father was an aggressive alcoholic who beat his wife and children on a daily basis.

Her mother would try to escape and run away with the children in an effort to keep them safe, but Anna Marie’s father always found them.

When she was five-years-old, her father strangled her mother with a belt until she lost consciousness, and then he kicked her baby sister across the room.

Anna Marie saved them by calling 9-1-1 and her father was put in jail for a short period of time.

Once again, her family relocated with the hope of starting over without him. Unfortunately every time they tried to escape he would always find them.

So the drunken cycle continued, along with the assaults.

After coming home from middle school one day, she found her mother sobbing in the bathroom from yet another beating. Anna Marie called the police and this time her father was deported.

From then on, pain and anger was the only thing that veiled the hidden burden of her past.

“I was a bad kid when I was younger,” says Anna Marie. “I got in trouble, went to jail, and was ordered to go to behavior class.”

At 15, she became a mother and moved in with the baby’s father. However, he was not supportive of her continuing her education and was not responsible with the baby.

So Anna Marie dropped out of high school.

She then moved back in with her mother and siblings, but her mother gave her an ultimatum: go back to school or go to work.

It was a decision of a lifetime. Anna Marie had watched her brother give up his dream of going to college so he could help support the family, but she knew she wanted more for her life - so she enrolled at Dallas Can Academies.

Anna Marie has been at the Can Academies for two years now and is on track to graduate in 2018.

She says the flexibility of attending the school’s half-day sessions made it all possible.

She didn’t have to choose whether to support her family or get an education.

With guidance from her teachers and advisor, she continues to research colleges with nursing programs. Her goal is to care for elderly patients and to make a better life for her daughter and the rest of her family.

“I’m proud of myself for getting out of a bad situation,” says Anna Marie. “Without Dallas Can, I would not be in school. I would never have gone back.”

^{Student name has been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.}

The last time I dropped out of high school was in November of 2008. I distinctly remember this because it was due to my pregnancy, mainly the morning sickness. I was always throwing up. My whole pregnancy was really hard on me. I was constantly admitted into the hospital because of dehydration, and I had morning sickness up until the time I delivered my daughter.

Once I had my baby, my world changed dramatically. She opened my eyes and because of her I have matured a lot. I started to think about all the things I could do to better my daughter’s life. I began to realize how important higher education was, especially for the well being of my family. I would see my daughter’s father get rejected for jobs because he had no higher than a ninth grade education. Employers that require high school diplomas wouldn’t even give him a chance. For a while he was working at temporary agencies and it was a struggle to get by with the baby and all of our expenses.

I thought about getting a GED and then I thought; Why not go back to Austin Can! Academy, a place that would believe in me even when I had given up on myself, the school where the teachers knew I could become something more than just a high school dropout? I decided to give it a try, and I was able to enroll and start right away.

As soon as I decided to come back to school to give my daughter a better, more financially secure future, my prayers were answered and my daughter’s father was offered a job getting paid pretty well. The only bad thing about the job is it is very hard work. I don’t want him to work that hard for the rest of his life. Since way before I was pregnant my daughter’s dad had been working to get all the things we needed. He has been working extra hard since the baby has been here and now I think it will be good for us if I let him stay home with the baby while I pursue a career. I’m hoping once I graduate I can find a great job with good benefits and I can also start going to college. That will give my daughter and her father a whole lot of time together and it will also give him the opportunity to get his high school diploma or a GED. I am graduating in January 2011, and thanks to my wonderful family, life couldn’t be going any better right now.

The halls of Houston Can! Academy are filled with students who were at-risk of not completing their high school education. Nikosha is no different. But what is different is her unwavering determination to take her life in a new direction, despite being dealt a tough life. To meet her you would never think such a warm, friendly and smart young girl has been through so much. An unstable family, financial issues and even the loss of all her clothes and personal items aren’t enough to deter Nikosha’s mission to graduate and go to college. Before Houston Can! Academy, Nikosha found herself unfocused and quickly loosing interest at her previous school. “Before, I was missing so many days of school.” However, at the behest of her friend, she changed her outlook on education Nikosha earned the 2005-2006 Student of the Year award in the Ninth grade center because of her perfect attendance and high academic performance. This was quite an honor for a girl many would agree had every reason to quit school. “Instead of stopping at the hurdles she faced, Nikosha has continued to jump them and be an example to other students,” said Lonnie Dearman, student advisor. “Mr. Dearman was a wonderful counselor to me. I could always depend on him and feel assured that any confidential information I shared with him didn’t go anywhere,” adds Nikosha. While balancing school and studies, Nikosha, the oldest of six, also works part-time to help with family expenses. “It’s important to me to set a good example for my siblings. They look up to me,” adds Nikosha. When asked about her favorite subjects and college plans, Nikosha’s eyes twinkle as she talks about Math, Integrated Physics & Chemistry and her goal to attend Lamar University in Port Arthur. “When the school took us on a visit to Lamar University, I just fell in love with the school and campus. Ever since, I have had my heart set on going there to pursue a degree in Psychiatry.” “I really like to talk to people and help them with their problems.” Statistically speaking, Nikosha should be anywhere but Houston Can!, but thanks to her determination and the staff of Houston Can! Academy, she won’t leave until she achieves her goals.

Christian and his father have known many closed doors.

After a medical discharge from the US Army, Christian’s father began a heating and air conditioning business. For a time, the business grew, and things were going well.

Christian’s mother, however, had developed a worsening drug habit. His worried father often woke up in the middle of the night, fearing he would find her dead from an overdose.

“My father,” Christian says, “gave my mother an ultimatum: it was either us or the drugs.

“She chose the drugs,” he remembers.

When his mother made her choice, Christian was all of eight.

A month after she left, Christian’s father encouraged him to visit her at his grandmother’s home, where his mother had been staying. Though deeply disappointed in her and not wanting to see her, he went. He spotted the family vehicle in the driveway of his grandmother’s house, but when he knocked on the door, no one answered. Then, he spotted a window curtain move and plainly heard his mother’s voice: “Don’t open the door.”

Shortly thereafter, Christian’s father got sick with pancreatitis. He was weakened and unable to work. Christian had to learn to care for his father, cooking small meals and helping his father to and from the restroom.

Christian’s mother, meanwhile, gutted the family’s savings account.

With no savings and no income, Christian and his father eventually saw the electricity cut and the water shut off. Baths were taken using gallons of water purchased from the store, meals were cooked by the grill, and clothes went unwashed. Christian’s homework had to be done while the sun was still up. He was bullied at school for his unwashed clothes.

Thanks to the generosity of their local Catholic church, Christian and his father received enough money to turn the electricity and water back on. His father could pay for the medical treatment he needed. Christian and his father felt stronger in their faith, and they continued to enjoy cooking out on the grill—which had become a bonding activity for them.

During his junior year, Christian was doing well. He was keeping up with his studies and excelling in a welding program. However, their home of many years was falling apart. The landlord, unwilling to cover the costs of repairs prescribed by the housing authority, locked Christian and his father out of their home. They could not afford the deposit on a new place to live.

For a month, Christian and his father were homeless, and they slept behind dumpsters. When they did find an apartment, it was in bad shape. Need forced them to take it.

Two more obstacles stood in their way. Following multiple ignored requests to address the apartment’s safety hazards, Christian’s father tripped on the ripped carpet in their living room, injuring his knees and losing some mobility.

“I’d had enough,” Christian recalls. He felt that, because of his family’s limited resources, they were being overlooked. Motivated to right a wrong, he made a close study of the lease: the landlord was in violation of the Fair and Equal Housing Act. Christian took action. Thanks to his advocacy with the housing authority, Christian’s father’s medical expenses were covered by the property management’s insurance provider, and a state inspector made an inspection of the entire property.

Still there was the second obstacle. Because he had missed too many days of school during their month of homelessness, Christian faced repeating his junior year. It was a blow.

Friends told him about Texans Can Academies and its accelerated curriculum recovery. When he and his father came for enrollment, however, they thought they had encountered yet another closed door—the school required uniforms, and he and his father could not afford it. They prepared to walk away.

Thanks to the school’s Whole Student program, however, Christian’s uniform was paid for. The same day, the school’s principal met with Christian and his father and took them to lunch in the cafeteria.

“That meant a lot to us,” Christian says.

The very next day, Christian was able to start school and get back on track.

From then on, Christian experienced the school’s generous welcome. When food was scarce, he availed himself of the school’s food pantry, and, in the classroom, he found the academic support he needed.

“The staff at Can have been great. They have shown me so much hospitality. My history teacher, Mr. Rodriguez, helped and encouraged me. He was very straightforward and set high expectations for me.”

“Because of the Can, I didn’t have to repeat my junior year,” he says.

Christian graduated from Texans Can in June 2019, and, taking advantage of the GI Bill and a scholarship made possible by proceeds from an annual community luncheon, has enrolled in St. Philip’s College’s pre-law program.

Christian and his father continue to enjoy cooking out on the grill together, and, with faith in God, they both look forward to a future of open doors.

“I am thankful the Can was there for me. I know I have a lot more to give, and a lot more to achieve.”